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I found this in Cole’s Funniest Song Book in the World (1891). It had no tune, so I set off to look for other recordings, eventually finding Martin Carthy’s version. I caught up with him backstage at FolkEast in 2022 and we sang it together. The tune, he told me, was ‘The Liverpool Landlady’, while the singalong chorus was his own invention. He really is the master.

lyrics

Well, a man whose name was Johnny Sands
He’s married old Betsy Hague
And though she’s brought him gold
And she’s bought him land
She’s proved him a terrible plague
For, oh, she was a scolding wife
She’s full of caprice and whim
When he said he was tired of life
Well, she was tired of him
Right fa la
Right fullerum fullerum
For she was tired of him

Oh, says he, “Then I will drown myself
In the river that runs below”
Says she, “I pray you do,
You silly old elf,
I’ve wished long ago”
Says he, “Upon the brink I’ll stand
And you run down the hill
And push me in with all your might”
She says, “My love, I will”
Right fa la
Right fullerum fullerum
She says, “My love, I will”

“All for fear that I should courage lack
And try to save my life,
I pray you tie my hands behind my back”
“I will,” replied his wife
She’s tied them fast as you may think
And when securely done
“Now stand,” says she, “upon the brink
And I’ll prepare to run”
Right fa la
Right fullerum fullerum
“And I’ll prepare to run”

Well, all down the hill his loving bride
She’s run with all her force
All to push him in…
…but he’s stepped aside
And she’s fell in, of course
Now splashing, dashing like a fish
“Oh save me, Johnny Sands”
“I can’t my dear, though much I wish,
For you have tied my hands”
Right fa la
Right fullerum fullerum
“For you have tied my hands”

credits

from Before I Knew What Had Begun I Had Already Lost, released May 5, 2023
Trad, arr Wilks. Chorus by Martin Carthy. Roud 184
Produced by Jon Wilks
Mastered by Nick Cooke

Jon Wilks - acoustic guitar, electric guitar, bass, percussion, shruti, keyboards, vocals
Jackie Oates - viola

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Jon Wilks Whitchurch, UK

'The sort of performer folk circles mean when they talk of the living tradition' - Mike Davies, Folking.com

“One of the best of the New Wave of Folk Blokes. As a guitar player and arranger of traditional songs, Jon Wilks already deserves speaking of in the same breath as your Simpsons and your Morays.” – Ian A. Anderson, fRoots Mag
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